Week 27

Day 176

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Day 177

Exercise: Run

Time: 30 minutes

Distance: 3 miles

I'm worried about how difficult this run is becoming, but I think I'm just going to blame the heat. It was around 95 degrees Fahrenheit (did you guys know about that first 'h' in Fahrenheit? I didn't until right now...), so my entire body was covered in sweat by the time I finished. You know how some people "glisten" with sweat? Yeah, that's not me. Soggy would be a better word to describe me after sweating. And yes, that's exactly as attractive as you're picturing it. 

Day 178

Exercise: Swim

Time: 40 minutes

Distance: water

I tried to do flip turns for as long as I could today...that lasted ten minutes. The problem is I know I look better when I'm doing flip turns, and I want to look better (because this is about appearance, not performance). When someone does a flip at the end of every lap, no matter how fast they're swimming, it legitimizes whatever it is they're doing in the pool. I want to be legitimized, but I also want to not have twelve gallons of water up my nose. It's these types of battles that I'm fighting on a daily basis.

Day 179

Exercise: Bike

Time: 1 hour

Distance: 15 miles

I was biking in the gym today, and there was a cute girl on the bike next to me. I didn't say anything to her, but she was there. I bring this up because I want everyone to know that the newfound physical confidence that comes with consistent exercise has not yet translated into any ability to speak publicly with unknown members of the opposite sex. I'm still the same person I was a year ago, only now I can swim/bike/run farther. 

Day 180

Exercise: Swim

Time: 40 minutes

Distance: water

I spent today thinking about the post I wrote yesterday. Am I still the same person I was before I began all this training? Have I changed in any way? And the more I thought about it the more I realized I was wrong to say nothing has changed. A lot has changed. I'm healthier. I sleep better at night. I'm more content with my physical well-being. I'm more confident in my ability to perform any physical exercise or challenge put in front of me. I'm stronger. However, I find it interesting that despite all of these physical changes, my mental and emotional state has experienced very little change. Besides being more confident in what I'm able to do (physically), I think and feel about the same.

I wish I could conclude this thought with some profound revelation, but I'm not sure what that would be. I think there is something here worth thinking/writing about, but I'm going to have to sit on the idea of physical vs. phycological/emotional well-being for a while. Stay tuned...

Day 181

Exercise: Bike/Run

Time: 1 hour/30 minutes

Distance: 15 miles/3 miles

This was my first two-a-day since the half-Ironman and it was hard. I still have a long way to go. Today was the first day in a long time where I've questioned whether or not this is worth it. It's been a long time since the excitement of doing something so challenging has worn off and if I'm going to quit, now would be the time to do it. Deep down I know I can't quit. I've come too far and I would be forever disappointed with myself for giving up. I know both of those things are true, but there is still a part of me that wants to quit. On days like today where I'm tired and my motivation is almost nonexistent, that part of me gets louder.

I won't listen to it, I can't listen to it, but I'm not going to deny that it's not there. Today, I'm tired. Tomorrow, I'm taking a day off. The day after tomorrow, I'm pushing forward. Is this worth it? I'll let you know after I cross the finish line. 

Day 182

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