I have two vices. Well, really I have a lot of vices, but two really stick out; sin and self-pity. The latter is a result of an addiction to the prior, and while they are both independent faults, I find they go very well together in that they both cause each other. There’s a cycle that starts with sin, which leads to frustration, which leads to self-pity, which leads to more frustration, which leads back to sin. It’s an exhausting circle that, once one is caught in it, can be very hard to break out of.
I don’t know what type of intervention is necessary to save someone from this cycle; whether it be divine or something less spiritual; however, I believe that it takes an equal amount of effort on the part of the rescuer and the person being rescued. While the one being rescued may claim that he wants to be saved, either by word or by deed, it is often his own fear that keeps him trapped. His savior is out there trying to reach his hand in to save him, but the person inside is incapable of reaching out in order to be rescued.
It is similar to a bird with a hurt wing. While the bird lies on the ground unable to fly and reach its full potential as a bird, a human comes along and tries to help the bird, yet the bird is content to hop away and avoid this strange being that, unbeknownst to the bird, has the power to fully restore its strength. I think we are the same way with our Savior; that our inability to allow ourselves to be saved hurts us more than our injury. Why do we fear the unknown? That’s often where our great healer is searching for us, yet we often seem timid to give all of ourselves to Him.
The thing about Jesus is that He does not require our love to survive. We need Him way more than He needs us, yet he continues to reach out to us time and time again. It’s similar to a doctor’s relationship to sick people. The doctor doesn’t need sick people to survive because the doctor is in fact healthy, or at the very least, fully capable of tending to himself. While on the other hand, sick people definitely need a doctor. How strange would it be if instead of the sick people going to the doctor’s office to get medicine, the doctor went around town searching for people who were sick so that he could heal them. That doesn’t make sense right? But it exhibits a certain point that despite the fact that it would never make sense in a normal world, it is something that is commonplace among our spirituality.
I am so complacent. I wait for God to reach out to me before I do anything. A common prayer of mine states, “God show me what to do. Guide me along the path you have planned for my life, and watch over my footsteps.” While there is nothing inherently wrong with this prayer, do you see the complacency? It’s inactive. It’s uninvolved. It’s passive. There is no reason to have a passive faith in an active God.And that’s where I realize this truth: If I yearned after God with half of the desire that he has for me, despite all of my insecurities and all of my doubts, my life would be overwhelmed with a love that I could barely comprehend. That’s the kind of love God offers to us every day. We only need to accept his outstretched hand and hold on tight.